Be Brave, Not Perfect
by Bookworm445
Summary: This work was inspired by Follow Rivers over on AO3. It's a brilliant work by a brilliant author - surveycorpsjean
1. Bravery

_Useless. Worthless. Incompetent._

The voice in the back of his head spoke up.

 _You're the Ace of Fukurōdani. You're their captain. And you can't even spike past a first-year blocker._

The Demon Brain that always spoke to him was back.

 _I'm in the top 5 spikers in the whole of Japan!_ Bokuto retorted. The Demon Brain cackled at his pitiful attempt to cheer himself up. Kuroo and Akaashi were looking at him again, he knew. They always hated it when he became like this, so he had to cheer up. For them. Bokuto groaned silently. The Demon Brain was his constant companion. A companion he had told no-one about.

 _Yeah. You're one of the top 5 spikers in Japan, and yet you can't get past a first-year blocker from a mediocre school._ The Demon Brain said smugly.

 _Hey! Karasuno isn't second-rate - they're not the Flightless Crows anymore!_ Bokuto argued, feeling an odd desire to defend Tsuki's school. He had been tutoring Tsukishima with Kuroo for the past 3 days of this training camp, as Bokuto desperately wanted to see Karasuno again at Nationals after the Spring Preliminary Tournament. They were a brilliant team, and their first-year duo - #9 and #10, were definitely a force to be reckoned with. _I will face them at nationals._ He told the Demon Brain.

 _Oh, but you seem so certain Fukurōdani will be the team to make it there. But, tell me, how do you expect your team to make it when you're letting them down?_ The Demon Brain was still laughing. Laughing and laughing and laughing.

 _Stop it!_ Bokuto yelled internally/inwards. _I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm in my third year of high school, I'll be going to Collage next year, and I'll deal with my problems like the adult I'll be once I leave!_

The Demon Brain stopped laughing. Bokuto could feel it's incredulity. _You won't listen to yourself? I am you, Bokuto. I know you. I know how they feel too. You've got to be joking. You think people actually care about you?_ Bokuto ignored it, although the Demon Brain's words hit hard. He focused all his attention on the court and Akaashi, the volleyball and Karasuno's team, then glanced at the leaderboard.

Fukurōdani - 24

Karasuno - 16

Bokuto bounced in excitement, attempting to shove the Demon Brain away and outwardly getting hyped again. He saw Akaashi's glance, heard the words of his teammates, and ran. Jumped. The ball hit his hand and he slammed it into the court on Karasuno's side.

"HEY HEY HEY!" He yelled, jumping into the air with feigned excitement. The encouragement and adoring words of his teammates echoed in his ears, but he knew their words were empty. A drill they were used to. All of Bokuto's attention was now focused on Akaashi, and when he saw the small nod thrown his way, the Demon Brain was all but forgotten. Akaashi saw his spike. And that's all that mattered. But then it spoke.

 _You call that a spike?_ Bokuto froze, then stalked off the court. He could hear Akaashi coming after him, and another set of footsteps - Kuroo, maybe? Bokuto slumped to the ground outside the gym, and watched as Akaashi exited the gym, Kuroo right behind him.

"Hey, Bokuto." Akaashi said softly, Kuroo uncharacteristically quiet as they knelt down beside him. "What's wrong?"

 _Tell them. I guarantee they'll hate you._ Bokuto flinched.

"Bokuto? Are you hurt? What's wrong?" Akaashi seemed concerned. _I'll tell him._ Bokuto told the Demon Brain. _And you may be right. But I'll tell him._

Bokuto took a deep breath and began his story. Of the voice in his head that sounded so, so much like him, and yet not at the same time, of how it spoke to him all the time. Told him he was useless, unloved, unneeded, unessential. Said he wasn't good enough, that Akaashi and Kuroo were only his friends out of pity. He wasn't sure when he started crying, but even as tears trickled down his face he kept telling them everything. Once he was done, he stood, waiting, with baited breath. Waited for them to walk off, or confirm everything the Demon Brain had ever said to him. What he wasn't prepared for was tears in Akaashi's eyes and his arms full of Kuroo.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Akaashi said, over and over and over.

"It's not true, don't listen to him. You're my best friend Bokuto." Kuroo whispered in his ear. Bokuto fell against Kuroo, sinking into the warmth of his hug.

 _Don't listen to them - they're lying!_ The Demon Brain said desperately. Bokuto ignored it.

"I'm sorry guys, Akaashi, please don't cry. Oh, not you too, Kuroo, Akaashi, please guys. Don't cry, not over me. I don't deser…" Bokuto started, but was cut off but both yelling at him at the same time.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, of course you deserve our friendship!"

"Bokuto, you idiot! You're our best friend!" And Bokuto sunk to the ground, crying and hiccuping as Kuroo and Akaashi held him between them.

"You guys!" He gasped out, shocked. "Thank-you! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!"

And the Demon Brain screamed. Because now Bokuto had Akaashi and Kuroo to help him keep the Demon Brain back, and far, far away.


	2. Valor

A shadow quietly slipped out of the Fukurōdani dorm. It looked back at it's sleeping teammates, before walking down the hall towards the Locker Rooms, where a crack of light could be seen under the door. The figure slipped inside and could finally be seen for the first time - black hair, dark eyes. It was a pretty face. He was wearing pajama-style clothing with what looked like a white and blue sports team's jacket overtop. The boy (for we know for sure that he is male) turned to the benches, where another boy was sitting. He also had dark hair, half of it falling across his face and over one eye. His eyes were golden, almost catlike. He was wearing much the same as the other man, but the jacket was red.

"I didn't know." The first one said. "Kuroo, I didn't know! I spent so much time around him, and I never knew he was fighting with this - whatever it is!" he seemed frantic, almost like he was blaming himself for something.

"Akaashi!" The one called Kuroo snapped, standing up and walking over to the panicked one. "It's not your fault. I spend time around him too, and I never noticed." 'Akaashi' sighed.

"But from what he told us, it's so obvious. The way he gets so angry before Emo Mode… we can't even call it Emo Mode anymore! It's a literal temporary depression!" Akaashi started to cry. "I should have noticed. I should have asked him about it!" Kuroo sighed, and stepped forward once more, into the shorter boy's space. He wrapped Akaashi in his arms and buried his face into his hair.

"I know," Kuroo muttered. "I know."


End file.
